::Eternity in God::

I am HERE

2011-12-22T21:15:00.000+08:00

Months since I last blogged here.

When was the last time?

I don't remember.

Nevertheless, I miss my time here.

A lot of things in mind.

BUT... I AM HERE!

Growing up and still growing

2011-09-13T20:37:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, I feel that I am very childish.

What others do upon me, I will do it back upon them.

People showed me attitude, I will show a face.

Yes, my heart is hurt.

Being mistreated by colleague who I used to joke with just because I can always finished my work on time and she? Busy work and taking her time to work and until someone shared about she being jealous of me and always backstabbed me, I start to feel a sense of dislike and hatred for her.

I kept it inside of me but recently, after I finished my work and rushed for CG, someone called me over the weekend and told me the things she said behind my back and the next day, came back to work to find that she showed attitude toward me.

Am I hurt? Yes.

I remembered asking her whether she is okay with her work before I needed to leave and this will surprised many, she knew every friday I won't be able to work extra hours and recently, I am assigned to handle foreign trades while she is still doing local trades. I taking my time with my work, while she needed to handle hers. I can handle mine pretty well even with extreme high volume, why can't she?

And it voice down to politic. People told me the cruelty of politics, I saw it, experienced it when I was in other working environment but this one... Being backstabbed many time without realizing it and every time I wonder, why this happened and slowly the mysteries opened up.

The root cause is just beside me. You might think I am trying to blame it on hers but I witnessed others who suffered. One even want to quit...

You might be thinking, what does it got to do with my topic... Growing up and still growing...

Well, today I made a decision to move on from here. Even if it happened again, I will brush it aside for now. And keep praying for God's strength. I can't do this alone, I need a bigger capacity with Jesus and may Jesus be the strength of my heart!

Let me grow up and keep growing...

Back or not?

2011-07-27T20:47:00.002+08:00

It's been months since I logged in.

These few months, many things have changed.

Myself and others.

Finally, I have entered into adulthood with a stable job and worked for the past 1 year and 1 month.

Saving hard, preparing for wedding and lots and lots of things to think about.

Guest list, gowns, wedding bands, etc and etc.

1 year and 1 month from now I will be officially a married woman but while the time is slowly ticking by, I will enjoy the current time.

Over the months, I have watched people engaged, fall apart, married and etc and etc, and it make me treasure the current time and the future to come.

I have a wonderful fiance even though I complained a lot.

He loved me, this I know.

He cared for me, this I know.

Most importantly, he believed in me and my ability to handle marriage in the future.

And also, I hold his entire saving! Heehee...

Where his treasure is, there his heart will be.

I thanks God for each wonderful moments.

Believing and I shall upload photos next time!

Never ever...

2011-05-12T09:01:00.000+08:00

I give up.

I will never ever smile at the person from now on.

I will close up my emotions.

I will so that he won't think I always throw temper.

I have enough of this myself.

Enough of myself.

Enough of the nonsense of trying to get attention.

Enough...

Never ever will I trust...

Why is there such a thing called game?

2011-05-12T08:21:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wish, that game is not being developed or out in the market.

For 10 years, the 1st series is in the market but out of the blues, last year it was out and all I felt is a sense of being left out.

A waste of time is what I believe.

A waste of precious time where it can being put to good use.

I grew angry with it but he don't understand.

I once complained to a friend about it and she wanna talk to him but I let it go but it kept coming back.

And I disliked some people who gave illogical stuffs that caused him to think it is true.

I dislike the current situation.

If I have the authority. I will boycott that game.

Unhappy Day

2011-04-24T23:50:00.001+08:00

How can I be truly happy and satisfied?

I wish there is a reset button and everything will be fine.

I wish I am a different person living a different life.

I wish...

All I wanna said

2011-02-02T00:10:00.002+08:00

Is... some people just bring me headache.

Said something yet don't like people to mention their name.

Anyhow planned something, yet didn't confirm it.

I dislike situation like this. Don't come to me if you never ask things properly.

I will no longer entertain it.

For goodness sake, be details... be specific and ask people involved then ask people along.

As simple as that...

Sinful acts?

2011-01-14T23:36:00.001+08:00

Well, I got a confess of stumbling across something I shouldn't see.

But what is it?

I won't share now but I am surely happy.

Sinful act of reading but... I am happy and awaiting for it to come. =)

God, You are wonderful.

False "sinfulness", real blessing. =)

2010, moving on into 2011

2011-01-01T09:45:00.002+08:00

Ending off 2010 in not a wonderful mode, until Dear came into the picture to treat me to meals and shopping with me...

But overall, looking back, I found a job, ministry is growing...

But what I wanna do for 2011?

1. Spiritual Growth

I want to get back into momentum. I wanna grow, I wanna have God in every single things I do.

2. Career

My sup is not the best sup, and words she said is making people very tired of her, but nonetheless, I wanna do well at work and show her that, whatever she think is not true at all.

3. Ministry

Grow CG, multiply again. =)

4. Relationship

Hint to dearest, where is my bling? LOL And he replied, "ring pop"? =.=" Anyway, looking forward to more exciting memories with him, and also, we are gonna pray more, fast more and read the bible more.

Now... time to put something into actions!

Moving on from here

2010-11-23T15:59:00.003+08:00

The past one week, things has happened unexpectedly but it showed human's ugliness.

Situation doesn't happened over one man's fault. But people over spiritualise and self righteousness cause them to think that they are more spiritual than others.

Yes, at 1st I wanna to blame the couple as well. But with close friends supporting me, they said let it go and let God.

How many times we tried to take things into our own hands?

Many times...

But it's time, for God shall be the Judge.

Judge not and you shall not be judge.

I rather not judge than to be judge by God.

We should carry the fear of the Lord so as to live a life full of His love.

Have we been judging others?

No one is below anyone.

We all need leaders to advice us but moving on from here, we shouldn't think we are above the rest.

Time to do some changes to it.

Spring Cleaning

2010-11-19T00:29:00.003+08:00

Spring cleaning of my old blog...

Was feeling emo when dear is away.

Goodness, he is only working till this timing... Well, since 1230pm... And I am missing him badly.

He couldn't really BBM me and truly, taking an off today make me miss him lots.

Thinking back, time really flies.

It has been nearly 10 months since we are together and remembering 2009, we were still hiding our feeling and trying to explore our friendship and soon, it will be a year since we got together.

Many ups and downs.

And life isn't as perfect as we hope to be, but soon...

We will reach our another chapter of the love story.

Yes, we are balloting for our 1st flat.

Awwwww, talking about it warm my heart.

Dear insisted trying for Senja Parc View.

Well, praying that we will get it!

Completion date: 3rd Quarter 2015

God, make it happened for us.

Try to ask dear when he will roughly pop the question and he kept his mouth super tight.

Yesterday at CK and DQ's wedding, Cliff walked by and talked to us about wedding planning.

Anytime, I won't forget Cliff. One of the BEST wedding coordinators I knew

And guess what, dear said to get 5 wedding coordinators.

I feel like saying, I am not a princess, 3 will do.

But thanks God for a dear who think beyond what I want.

Looking forward to see him and my food.

Dearie, love you to the max!

A servant on the OUTSIDE, a lover on the INSIDE

2010-09-21T22:52:00.002+08:00

Today, it has been such a long time since I blogged.

But what brought me to this again is a conversation with a dear friend.

We talked about serving, about ministry.

And I was reminded again in this.

Don't be a Martha in PLAIN SERVING but be a Mary in LOVE WITH THE PRESENCE OF GOD.

I was once going all out to serve, for a sake to be seem, to be recognised by people.

When I came to a point when serving became a burden, not a burden of the Lord but a burden that burned me out, I threw in the towel, not once, not twice but thrice.

And the last time, I looked into my heart, asking myself, what's wrong with me? And after searching for an answer, I found myself in the situation of Martha when she questioned the Lord in Luke 10:40:

But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.”

But the Lord answered in Luke 10:41:

And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things.

Sometimes, when we are burned out in serving, one question we got to ask ourselves is... are we worried and troubled about many things?

I tends to have the bad habit of worrying about things and people that I shouldn't be worrying about.

Sometimes, I tends to care too much about the opinion of others to a point where I became insecure.

But... JESUS set me free.

He give me someone who shows me the love of Jesus in a real way, and how I can learn to be a better person who move on not because of position but love.

My leader that God placed above me also taught me so.

Be a servant on the outside by serving the society and the people around you while being a lover on the inside, loving God whole-heartedly and fervently.

Live out the commandments, live out your lives.

Quite a while

2010-08-07T14:44:00.000+08:00

It has been quite sometimes since I last blogged.

Work has been busy. Learning new things everyday. But still, God is leading. Dear has been moving into what God has been calling him and I'm happy for him.

I am also moving into the unknown, knowing that one day God will bring me to my destination.

But 1st of all, I need to grow in Him.

I want to really get back that fire... And burn it stronger.

The fire of knowledge and theology. To equip people, to educate people and to grow disciples for Jesus.

And it all start with NOW.

After a long time

2010-08-01T23:36:00.001+08:00

I have something in mind to post, but sometimes frustrating happened.

I wish I have all the answers but now the answer is in the hand of God.

My 1st post in 2 months, and all I want now...

Is to experience the living presence of God Himself.

Visualising

2010-05-28T21:19:00.002+08:00

I want to see my visions come to pass.

But 1st I want to deal with myself.

Balancing and discipline.

Focus on the 20% and not the 80%.

Focus on the good things and not the bad ones.

Focus on God.

One day I will stand on the stage.

Seeing people get deliver, seeing souls being set free, seeing miracles.

I am believing.

A vision renewed.

The prayers of the missionaries stucked in me and reminded me...

That was in 2006...

And I believed, it shall come to pass.

Such a LONG TIME

2010-05-28T20:33:00.002+08:00

It has been quite some time since I last updated my blog.

This few months have been a tough season of my life.

Transistion after transistion...

Times whereby I questioned God for a reason, even an answer.

And times whereby I witnessed the blessings and grace of God that makes me see that... Life can be simple...

Prayer is all I need.

Today, I missed session 10 of Asia Conference...

1st session I missed and my heart somehow seem not satisfied.

I know I should be there but my body need the rest and I need to have my quiet devotional time to really give my heart to God in a private closet.

I urged everyone...

To understand...

There is times for body of Christ to gather and there is times for personal quiet time.

Been seeking for a breakthrough and end up realised, personal spiritual breakthrough come from seeking God in the hidden place.

Time to go back to the basic...

And I need to reform my relationship with my Abba God.

Gladness

2010-05-24T12:00:00.001+08:00

Maybe it is good for me to left this workplace.

And looking for one that is of the Promise Land.

Hopefully to receive a positive reply soon.

=)

Needing more...

2010-04-29T11:52:00.001+08:00

The desire is there, desperation is there...

I need more of His presence and wisdom and understanding...

I want less of me, and more of Him...

Can I make a difference in my life?

Hit My 301st POST!

2010-04-13T12:54:00.000+08:00

Wow, 301st post...

God is good all the times and all the times God is good.

Through good times and bad times, He is my strength.

Thanks God for Him and him who will always be with me.

And may God be his strength and I can be his strength in return.

301st post! Whee...

Putting aside

2010-04-06T16:30:00.000+08:00

all thoughts, all struggles, all stress...

And walking forward.

It is time to cry out for a greater purpose.

Can't wait to see Faith and Chloe.

Rather than talking on msn, I enjoys talking to them face to face.

Awaiting...

A time for a re-encounter

2010-04-06T12:02:00.001+08:00

I am not satisfied, with my current relationship with God.

I need a breakthrough.

A new encounter.

A new vision.

A new direction.

It is time for a re-encounter.

The Deliverance of Israelites

2010-04-04T15:59:00.001+08:00

Was reading Gen 15 while waiting for dear's meeting to end.

And came into my mind the story of Moses delivered the Israelites out from Egypt.

This is my current favorite cartoon that Dear asked me to watch.

And to see this story being animated, I was truly amazed. I might be a bit slow but I can't help but feel wow.

Back to Gen 15, I was reading the 1st part of God's covenant with Abram before he was called Abraham.

This is the story that talked about How God showed Abram the stars in the heavens and asked him to count them and God made a covenant that his descendants will be just like the stars in the heavens.

And as I read on, there was a part that talked about Abraham's descendants being enslaved by a nation for 400 years and after which, the nations will be punished and the descendants will come out with great possessions.

One part that remind me...

Didn't it sound like Moses and the Israelites?

Perhaps, it was told before.

Yet, it came upon me...

That God never forget us.

He makes His covenant and He keep it till the very end.

He remembers and He ensure He fulfill them.

There are many things I am believing for and praying for yet time after time, weariness will come yet, God said, "He will never leave nor forsake you."

And once again, we might be enslaved by devils, by circumstances but God will bring justice upon all imprisonment.

It's time to stand up once again.

Promise Land is ahead of us.

Let arise and build. :)

KL

2010-03-24T17:39:00.002+08:00

I was having the urge to go for mission trip and as I browsed through the most affordable trips, I saw KL and it was in Sept.

And it is very affordable, at only $280 (accommodation).

Maybe I should consider this trip. =)

Plus I can meet up with my Indonesia Mission Team mates...

Reminded...

2010-03-23T15:54:00.002+08:00

Was talking with Dear over the phone yesterday.

Shared about the issues that I kept in my heart.

I has been troubled and I has been wondering...

Everytimes, in my mind, I will ask God...

When, what to do?

Is this what I want?

Many questions, many uncertainties.

I was reminded of full-time... during youth meeting...

Yet I know I got to wait, till I rise up and grow and fulfill this one vision...

That will be the time when I know I fulfill what God placed in me out of my comfort zone and that will also be the time when I know I will be launched but until then, I got a gap to fulfill.

Was talking to Dear and I was really very emotional.

Over the choices that I gave myself while trying to fill the gap...

And Dear kept saying I got the easiest choice out of my original choices because of my experiences.

God, show me more of Your will.

God has called out... during youth meeting and I saw it, the vision for Dear and me... And I will keep it till the end, till God bring us to that one calling. Time to move on and let God take over. =)

Praying and continue praying

2010-03-18T18:36:00.001+08:00

There are many things in my heart now.

Sometimes it will resound in my mind...

And God I need You to change situation, to change people's attitude.

And what's wrong with being nice?

Should I scold people when they are rude to me?

I really don't know.

Though I might feel sad and hurts, yet I believed, I just got to continue to love and care...

And do the right things.

Be angry at the right things.

Cause temper can't solve anything.

And I don't want to live a life of being hot-tempered again.

Trying to cool down more and be firm more...

God, I need to pray smartly, pray specifically...

Refreshing TOUCH

2010-03-16T11:46:00.003+08:00

I never ask for anything but to SERVE the HOUSE of GOD.

I never want anything but to SERVE the HOUSE of God.

Many people told me to do many things but I just want to SERVE the HOUSE of GOD.

Yesterday youth meeting reminded me of all the prophesies and visions that GOD gave to me.

When I was just 17 years old, God uses Pst Ulf Ekman's meeting and Cliff to first shown me my call.

When I was 18 and under Gabriel's personal Bible Study, he asked me to think further.

When I was 20 and in SOT, a China student prophesied the same thing that Cliff prophesied.

I will always remember the anointing I received through Pst Ulf Ekman and Pst Mike Connell's ministry.

It is a reminder and I just wanna press in deeper.

I want to rise up to do the call of God and one day in the HOUSE of GOD is better than 1000 days elsewhere.

Where can I be beside the HOUSE of GOD?

Jesus is the reason why I carry on living in this place.

The time will come when I am unleashed into the place that I am called to be, but while I am waiting, I will be patient and believe...

Pray more than ever before.

Seek more than ever before.

Long more than ever before.

Fast more than ever before.

For Jesus, You have chosen me.

The last shall be the first

2010-03-15T17:01:00.001+08:00

Matt 19:30
But many who are first will be the last and many who are last will be first.

Matt 20:16
So the last will be the first, and the first will be the last.

Today I was pretty much thinking.

What have I been doing for the past few years?

God gave me a great calling yet no matter where I go, I am facing obstacles that seems to high to get over.

Year after year, I will ask God but today as I read of these 2 verses, the promises of God comes to me.

The last shall be the first.

Let continue to wait upon the Lord.

His promises never fails.

A change of mind

2010-03-15T11:01:00.003+08:00

Wah, just 2 days ago that I said I want the Nikon Camera and 2 days later, what is in my bag is no longer Nikon but Sony Cybershot W310!

Partly I chose it because the pricing is reasonable.

In the package, I received...

1 Sony Camera [Of course!]
1 8GB SD Memory Card
1 Battery

And as the free gifts, I received...

2 8GB Memory Cards,
1 Battery
1 Screen Protector
1 Casing
1 Mini Tripod
1 Screen Cleaning Cloth

And I am totally satisfied.

Now, I must concentrate on A&B! Whee... =)

Faithful God

2010-03-13T11:30:00.001+08:00

One thing I know and I know how my God is like, is... He is always and forever faithful.

Many times I have let Him down, by seeking back my past and dwell in it and refused to move in my walk with Him.

Many times, I thought that it is for my life, and He make a way for me.

Today, as I looked to the 1st love I have with God.

1st thing is, He is always and forever faithful!

When we are not faithful, He remains faithful.

Let not forget this 1st love we have with Him.

Nikon Coolpix S220

2010-03-13T09:36:00.000+08:00

I has decided...

I want to get Nikon Coolpix S220!

Price: $199

Just what I want...

And a few free gift...

1X 8GB memory card
Case
LCD Pad
Umbrella
Digipod

I just hope that when I go there on Sun, there will be stock available.

If not, I will really be very sad.

After choosing between Canon, Fujifilm and this...

I decided to get this because...

Fujifilm don't have wonderful reviews.

Canon is too expensive for me.

And I want a camera badly even since 1 year back when I went to mission fields.

And it is always so troublesome to borrow camera from people.

So I told dear, I want to find a camera that is within my budget.

This is just nice, let me see to it on Sun! =)

Temptation VS Self-control

2010-03-11T10:01:00.001+08:00

I am tempting...

Tempting by the technology around me...

Tempting by the glamorous world outside...

Full of technology...

But I think through and want to have self-control over my wants and needs.

Now is Building Fund season, God promised that He will add to those who believes.

I want to believe, as my dear and I give, God will prosper us.

I need to weight the cause and look at the future.

Camera, Iphone and all... I got to say bye bye to you first.

Back to self-control...

SUNTEC CONVENTION CENTER

2010-03-08T11:08:00.001+08:00

I never thought, I will be contributing to a building that is not just penetrating the marketplace but owed the marketplace.

Up to date, I has been giving nearly 2-3k into the building fund for the past 4 Arise and Build Campaigns.

And now, finally, we have our new building and it will be at Suntec Convention Center.

I always got lost there due to the complexity of the whole place. Yet as our corporate office is there, sometimes, when I often to help out, I will often go there until to a point of my life, I know Suntec very well.

It has been a year since I really been to Suntec but this time round, the feeling is different.

Yes, we might be co-owners, but to have a feel of this place is wow...

To even be part of it is WOW!

God, truly answered the prayers...

Now, as dear and I pledged, I know both of us are really going all out for Him, giving and sowing in tears but at the end of this, we will reap in joy.

And like I mentioned, I want my wedding dinner there along with my matrimony.

And all things are possible to those who believe! =)

Revelations

2010-03-06T10:04:00.003+08:00

Love it when people shared verses with me.

It is like those times when I 1st got saved.

With just a minimum understanding in English, I always tried to understand what Pastor and Cliff preached.

I checked dictionary when I needed to, I asked Cindy to help me with my English, and I strived to improve myself.

And yesterday, as Dear shared verses, I felt it is like those days.

And it reminded me of some words that people spoke to me.

Those were the days when someone once said, if I am so forgetful, I will tend to forget about God's love toward me, I will even forget that I love God.

I always asked God to remind me of His love and never once, has I forget about it but grow in it.

The same goes to here, every single day is a reminded of this love that He give to me.

Now as I am in my room, with worship music flowing out of my laptop speaker, I just feel God's love more and more.

I want to be a vessel of LOVE.

I know I am not perfect, and I have my own self of expectations, but I want to manage it well.

Rejoice always. In Christ Jesus.

I want to leave out the joy that is within me.

ARISE and BUILD

2010-03-06T09:47:00.003+08:00

Nearly a year has passed since the last Arise and Build ended.

Now, I am ready to give, and it is such a joy as I am ready to give.

Previously, I was so headache over the final amount to give.

Should I give the same amount or should I lower it?

Ultimately, after thinking through and prayed through, I decided to pledge the same amount as last Arise and Build.

It is such a decision to make as I got a lot to plan for.

Repaying of my school fees, saving up and all...

But yet, I wanna trust God that as I give and search for a new job, He is going to provide me with something better, with a pay that I want and hopefully by next year, I can go for my study.

Still thinking which course to go for.

Not easy to choose...

Psycology, counselling and Chinese Language.

God, I leave it all to You.

And I wanna go for my Theology Degree after my basic degree.

All in the hands of God! =)

Feeling human

2010-03-04T23:35:00.003+08:00

Just wanna feel like a human...

By listening to Chinese Pop...

Self "'emo-ing" by all these Chinese Pop...

Just for tonight. =P

Overwhelmed

2010-03-04T22:39:00.001+08:00

Overwhelmed...

Not over ministry but other stuffs...

I am happy that building fund is coming...

June will have a breakthrough.

But can others believe too...

I don't care how financially tight I will be now, because the now can't be compare to the blessings that are coming.

That all I can say here...

In this place...

Others' words doesn't matter

2010-03-03T11:01:00.002+08:00

A suddenly situation that caused me to think about this...

It reminded me that, God is the One we should please and not men.

Many times, we will be worrying about how people viewed us.

Being in a environment with a large group of people knowing us, any mistakes we made, sometimes, some people, instead of helping us, they helped Satan to spread rumors and "judged" us for the mistakes we made.

Instead of trying to love others who carries imperfection just like them, they choose to give remarks that ruined one another reputations.

Yet I believed, there are a group of truly Spiritual people who God truly placed among us to help, counsel and to guide us.

These are God-anointed ones.

Leaders and friends who are real to us.

Who won't look down on us and love us and trust in us.

Until today, I can still name out all these people who from the beginning till now still trust in me and believe my calling and consistently reminds me my calling.

Are you some of them? Maybe not in my life but in others' life?

Remember, no one owes anyone a living caused God gives us life.

We can have high standard and not forcing others to carry out the expectation we have for them.

For we aren't call to please men but God. For God set our path and direct us to our destiny.

There are many people who will be a passing phrase in someone's else life.

Don't blame the person if one day, the person choose to leave you for that passing phrase will be over.

Yet there are a group of people who we recognized as partners in the same calling. People who will stay with us and fulfill destiny with us.

It doesn't matter how we fall, but how we come back. A person with a strong determination will always come back stronger than ever before.

Rev 3:12 (NIV)
Him who overcomes I will make a pillar in the temple of my God. Never again will he leave it. I will write on him the name of my God and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which is coming down out of heaven from my God; and I will also write on him my new name.

Let us overcome the world and every other things that are against us. Let us hold fast to the love of God.

Let our heart beats for us to believe in the calling that has placed upon our life.

It really doesn't matter how people views us.

Never belittle any small beginning.

And never belittle people for we never know, what this person will become and where God will call him/her.

=)

2010-03-02T09:14:00.001+08:00

Happy that dear likes the bag I brought for him.

Didn't really spend a lot of time searching for it but I already have an image in my mind as to what bag to get for him.

I should have taken a photo of it and really, dear, you deserve it for being such a wonderful boyfriend.

<3

Understanding, the BASIC of all

2010-03-01T14:48:00.001+08:00

1st of all, I wanna thanks God for an understanding boyfriend.

God knows how much he got to go through because I was extremely in a emotional turmoils the past 1 week.

I had been throwing my temper and I actually runaway because I was super emotional and wanna some personal space and wanna test how much he loves me.

He was angry too due to my latest stunt but yet he tried to understand.

He tried to get me to talk and he tried to understand me.

And really, at the end of the day, I am really touched.

Well, 1st time I didn't listen to God's advise and I still runaway despite that I was suppose to go and find him.

But I thanks God for him because he so understanding and when he knew that I was partly feeling emotionally because of my gastric pain, he brought me to eat.

A relationship is never a one-sided thing. Mutual understanding make such a big different.

I thanks God we talked it out and he enjoyed the steamboat at my house.

And I also love hugging the middle size teddy he gave me during our V-day.

Now, I awaiting the day when he can get me a life size teddy.

I miss you dear while you are working hard, for building fund and our future.

And I missed those days when you will come to my workplace before we are together and those days when we will catch a movie.

But, I am excited to see you tonight. =)

Revelations

2010-02-27T11:09:00.001+08:00

I always prayed for a constant flows of revelations...

Because God always speak but only when we slow down our heart.

I always tell myself.

I got to do better than this and that...

But when God speaks...

He said... you got to be who you are.

We are created for His pleasure and He saw lots more than we can ever see or imagine.

I look forward to the remainder years with God.

1st love, You always will be...

And the only One that can ever be.

=)

Food Craving!

2010-02-26T16:37:00.000+08:00

I want fish and chips...

I want waffles...

My stomach is craving for sinful food!!! =X

1 month...

2010-02-25T16:39:00.000+08:00

So fast and 1 month just passed like this.

Many things changed that even I can't seem to grab.

A change in a new status, a change in the things that happening in ministry.

A change...

But I praying that these changes will be wonderful.

Because life is consistantly in a process of change.

For better or worse. =)

Standing STRONG

2010-02-17T00:30:00.002+08:00

Really appreciate dear.

For sharing my stress.

Maybe it is the 1st time I ever saw such a big family gathering and I really felt stressed inside of me.

But nonetheless, at the end of the day, I got him with me and we prayed.

And we got to stand strong, for out of everything is a test.

And thanks for making my V-day a special one.

Ran up to me with a gift really surprised me.

=) Awaiting for our belated celebration. =)

Enjoying LIFE to the MAX

2010-02-12T12:14:00.000+08:00

I am aiming to enjoying my life to the max, and be more relax.

Sometimes I will ask God...

God, You give a vision but where to begin?

Years passed and patient tested and faithfulness cultivated.

God, I believe in You still.

Even if I got to ride upon the storms.

Storms will make me stronger and more relying on You and not to forget...

"BE STILL!"

Jesus' famous quote.

And I will shout to the storms, "Be still!".

=)

Stoning Mode

2010-02-11T00:52:00.001+08:00

I think my brain is getting tired.

Been thinking, been planning, been trying...

And many frustrated situations came to poke my nerve.

I wish I am a superwoman sometimes.

Never mind, time to take a shower and sleep.

And tomorrow, I make sure I do my beauty regina and also my nails.

I need to self pamper myself afterall.

Oh Dear!

2010-02-09T15:08:00.002+08:00

I has been spamming Tumblr with ton of interesting posts.

But can you blame me when reblogging is so interesting and I saw inspiring posts?

=)

And I am happy working away.

Tonight gonna give Bible Study.

Might be tired because spring cleaning is only halfway done.

Who asked ants to infectious my room! Argh...

And today I had yet another funny dream and this time it involved fishes.

I must be playing fish ville too much, busy growing fishes when I am at work. =X

And I am fully repented! I am so going to stop Maggi Mee... =X Felt so sinful eating that. Unhealthy but tasty.

And I am now replanning my budget.

Aim... To clear my school fees by 2012!

It shall be done in Jesus' name.

And I need to do designing.

Aw... Leslie, really sorry, I am super duper slow.

Not to forget, my sermons...

Need to listen, need to copy, need to study...

I need to use my 10,000 hours wisely.

God, expand time for me!

Yes, I can!

What draws me? Now is the SECRET...

2010-02-09T01:13:00.002+08:00

Dear always shared with me about the million reasons why he still choose me in the end no matter what and he will often asked me how come I will choose him.

Now, after thinking through, I think blogging down will show a clearer picture?

1st of all, let look into what I once wrote in my journal.

Only this one opportunity to have a glimpse of it.

The requirements I wrote down many years back when I was praying as I went on a vow of 5 years! Wooo... So long? When God called, anything is possible. =) And I glad I stand still to my word! =)

1. Not younger than me but maximum only older than me by 5 years old.
2. Taller than me but maximum height is 1.75m, decent looking.
3. On fire Christian. Love God whole-heartedly, love people fervently.
4. Fervent prayer warrior. Strong visionary.
5. A man of God.
6. A man of integrity, and character.
7. Willing to accept me for who I am just like I am ready to accept him for who he is.
8. Have common friends.
9. Love missions and fervent about it.

When I looked through the list, I can say, I can't seem to find anything missing? Hahaha... And dear, you really are all of above. Maybe in term of strong visionary you might wonder but you often said you believe in me and you see visions for me.

Life is never perfect, we are not perfect but because we are imperfect that why we have God as the center of our life to make the imperfection perfect.

I never ask for practical things because practical things will fall into place when spiritual things are in place.

=) God will always make a way as long as our heart is for Him and Him alone.

Every single day I am learning still.

And God draw us together, that what so special about it.

May God strengthen the relationship even as it is just a beginning.

For the end will always be a new beginning, and let every phrase of it be a new and beautiful beginning like how we started out so many months ago as friends and now as a couple. =)

Being in Love

2010-02-03T15:59:00.000+08:00

Being in love is a wonderful feeling.

Being openly in love is a magnificent feeling.

Attached for a week or so and having someone who love and care for my well-being, beside my mum, this is a wonderful feeling.

Dear always said, let us pray that this feeling of love will never fade away.

And this particular sms conversation that I had with dear just now just make me so happy.

CH: Dear, tonight my student has postponed her tuition to next week, so I can meet you :) hmmm... Does your bf have the honor of joining his Dear for dinner with her good friend? :)

Me: Haha... Wow! I can ask bao ling. Actually she got a group of don't know her travelling buddies who I don't know also... Lol

CH: Haha, well if like that i accompany you lor? So you will not feel left out :) i also dnno them mah... Haha, looks like having your fish and chips and me at the same time came earlier than expected :)

Me: But dear... You sure you will let me eat? Lol...

CH: Haha, well... I will check on what you're eating? And eat all the things you cannot eat? Haha :)

Me: Wah! I know it... I thought I can escape today... Hahaha... :X but dear, you only end work at 7 right? Hehe

CH: Haha, yah... Dun tell me you all meet earlier than that hor...

Me: Haha... We are meeting 7pm at Plaza Singapura... :P

CH: Ah, no....! Haha :) well dear, I'll trust you with your health bah :) i should be reaching around 8pm, so you go ahead first ok? Can't wait to see you dear :)

Me: Haha... Ok... Hehe then you can't spot check me. :P but I wanna so much to go fish & co next time. Hehehe

CH: :) haha, ok lah ok lah... Dear, next time we go together ok? :) Just the 2 of us :) hmmm... Maybe I should ask baoling to spot check you? Haha :)

Me: :( aw... But if I rmb correctly, dear... You don't have her no... Wahahaha :P

CH: Hahaha, ya lor! Dear, you know me so well :) Can i hug you? *hugs*... Ok lah dear, here getting busy liao... I see you later ok?

Me: :) You can hug me later. About to ask you to go back and work. See you later. <3

Dear is so sweet. Every single day, I am reminded of God's blessings.

=) And I will try to take care of myself.

Claiming healing in the name of Jesus! Amen! =)

Sick and a bit tired

2010-02-02T14:04:00.001+08:00

Been sick again really make me very tired.

Feel like sleeping...

And having difficulty breathing isn't a nice thing to have.

I need to be well...

Got many things to do.

God is the ANSWER to our prayer

2010-02-01T08:50:00.002+08:00

It has been a week since I am attached.

Many things have changed.

=)

Never imagine things will be the way it is today, but looking back, it is really God.

He is the answer to my prayer.

And He fulfilled all that I ever prayed about many years back.

Photos to be updated... =X

2010-01-28T15:44:00.002+08:00

Aw... I still got so many photos to update. From the start of 2010 till now.

And not to forget, those photos of my gifts. =P

So many people have been asking how dear get me to agree to be his gf.

And those who heard went "WOW"...

=)

Dear was telling me it showed how much he love me.

And truly, it shown.

Especially the amount of saga seeds.

=)

Now I understood why I brought a glass bear but never be able to use it caused in the end, I used it to contain the saga seeds. =)

Photos to be up soon.

"Was reading all those comments that flooded our walls. Really feel very happy. Because we know that we have a bunch of good friends that are supportive. Some even said never have they see so many people flooded someone's wall because they are attached. And somehow, I am happy that we are the 1st to experience it. =)*

To Love and to Care

2010-01-27T00:38:00.000+08:00

Today at Pst Tan's meeting, I hearing God once again told me about love and care.

To love people and to truly care for them.

It can be tired, having some people dropping by and doesn't seem to get it about what's so wrong about them and what problems they facing.

But when they finally get it and decided to change and do something about it, the feeling is great.

And it happened once again.

I am hoping I am right to care for these people, knowing that people might not understand, they might not understanding themselves, but like how I changed over the years, they can do.

To LOVE and to CARE.

Can you do it?

Simply Blissful

2010-01-26T13:38:00.001+08:00

I glad I made the decision.

Cause at the end of the day, it is all worth it. =)

OFFICIAL is such a nice word. =)

Understanding...

2010-01-25T13:24:00.001+08:00

Thanks for being understanding...

Really appreciate it.

=)

And I shouldn't care what others sees, cause God will lead the way.

As the Deer

2010-01-25T10:57:00.002+08:00

I was listening to this song when I teared.

All the memories of the things that happened in 2008-2009 flushed into my mind.

The toughest years of all.

And thinking back, I thanks God for His faithfulness.

I am not perfect.

But my God always make me feel so loved... =)

Thanks God!

2010-01-25T00:53:00.002+08:00

This birthday isn't easy.

Just today I was rather stress again...

Just want a peaceful birthday but I really thank God for this friend that came across my mind.

In the midst of all, as I was stressed in my heart, God is good to me.

Tears that wasn't shed and still wasn't shed, I thank God for this prayer because He know my struggles and He know it isn't easy for me.

I wish I got more friends that really support me through prayers rather than just plain words.

And after so much, letting go is the most relaxing...

=) And my parents' blessing just make me so happy.

A few more days

2010-01-22T11:37:00.002+08:00

A few more days and I am 22...

Time really flies...

Thanks God for my mum, she getting me a new pair of black jean.

And I so wanna get a leather jacket but is it necessary for me to get now?

But my heart so itchy.

So wanna get it.

And I pre-ordered Ba Gua from Eugene and I pray very hard, let this be the 1st CNY in the last 3 years that I am well and healthy.

I want my fried foods and my Ba Gua. =P

Now I got a new boots, I love the card that CHC sent, and up next, I got a new book called Outliers.

And all I pray that this new day, I will find my answer to my career...

Where should I do next?

I need to plan and I need to clear my school fees. Can't wait till 2016 when my dad hit 55. Cause who know how the policies gonna change.

Even if I can waive it off when he is 55 but... policies always and will always change when we less expected it to.

Now I rant non-stop about various things.

I can't wait till I have fish&co and chocolate fondue. Sinful yet lovable. =)

Enjoying catching up

2010-01-22T00:58:00.000+08:00

1st time really talked to Gabriel and also David.

It is great even if it is msn.

Like what Gabriel said, like we know a new friend.

It makes me think back to SOT year.

By the way, Gabriel is my SOT mission team mate.

SOT is too short for us to know everyone in details but the time afterward, is what link us together because of SOT.

Awaiting catching up again... =)

Thinking and COMMITING

2010-01-21T12:49:00.001+08:00

Thinking about Haiti...

Thinking about work...

Thinking about the next step.

There is a lot I am not going to say anyway.

Swallow them up...

Time to seek the Lord and committing all these into His hands. =)

Praying FERVENTLY

2010-01-21T09:11:00.001+08:00

I need to replan how to feed my soul and spirit.

Hahaha...

Time to take out all my sermons and beside that, I need to pray more.

Need a direction...

NICE Hair

2010-01-20T23:55:00.003+08:00

Definitely love her hair.

=)

Be WHO You Really Are

2010-01-20T23:17:00.003+08:00

Have been bother by this somehow.

Saw the tweet war among a couple between finances.

Heard my friend shared with me of a guy who complained about the spending on girlfriend.

Is that what a relationship is all about?

And shouldn't think be solved in a proper way?

Was having a conversation with 2 persons over msn today.

One thing the woman said, man is like that, go all out for a woman, tolerate everythings before getting attached and then after attached, some of the things become irritating to the man, so enjoyed courtship.

Another man in the conversation was stunned and lost of words.

And I got to admit, I can't help but think the woman is correct.

Things like this can be very simple.

Somehow what a wise and married woman shared with me is very true.

Choose a man who love God. (And we must also truly love God)

If the man love God, how can God not speak for him to change? (Same thing applied to women here.)

And I got to agree.

Seeing it, hearing it...

Goodness, it caused me to reflect, how to be a better person, yet at the same time, pray for someone who will be who he really is.

I don't want to get together with someone who changed after we attached. (And the same goes to women.)

Believed it or not, it is one thing I always asked myself that beyond all the good stuffs a woman can see, can we accept even the bad stuffs that we discovered.

And believed me, I always look toward the bad stuffs more than the good stuffs to ask myself this question in term of this.

And I hoped someone will accept me just as I am.

My good points as well as my bad points.

Because I am learning to do the same.

AGAPE LOVE: the GREATEST love of ALL

Haiti

2010-01-20T17:56:00.002+08:00

Haiti, remind me of Sichuan.

Wanna to go, but couldn't because of the funding and as I seek, as I slower my pace... I understand myself better.

Now I still praying for the people there and resolved to helping to contact all my medical friends. Hoping to find just anyone who can go.

Little helps is better than no help at all.

And if this isn't the season for me, prayers can help too.

Enjoying EVERY single moments

2010-01-20T00:17:00.000+08:00

Enjoying every single moments of realising how much God has blessed me with.

And I know this is just the beginning.

=)

Shocked but Grateful

2010-01-19T20:00:00.003+08:00

Don't know how to say it.

Was shocked at the gift.

It is my 1st time receiving a gift like this.

Compared to others...

I was shocked beyond words.

But thanks for making the effort.

=)

Feeling BETTER

2010-01-18T23:25:00.002+08:00

Feeling better...

Better than the beginning of the week.

Wanna maintain the smile.

=)

And enjoy life...

*I still think of Haiti and praying for the people. Not as bad as Sichuan Earthquake when I cried every night when I prayed for China.

God, whatever it is, please keep the team safe.

And I still happy that our church got the land finally and even with critics laughing and criticised us, it didn't change the fact that in the midst of all, our church sent team to Haiti while God give us this land after years of waiting.

GOD is INDEED faithful.

Lost of Sleep... =X

2010-01-18T09:19:00.000+08:00

I must be so used to be sleeping after 1am that when yesterday I wanna sleep at 12mn, I closed my eyes and still couldn't sleep.

No matter how tired I was, I just couldn't sleep.

And when I finally slept and woke up, I have a dry throat that forced me to wake up.

How cool is it?

=X

Wow...

2010-01-17T20:16:00.002+08:00

Wow, I am amazed, talking about the book and now a friend has brought it for me.

And another friend brought me a pair of boots from Taiwan.

I wanna treasured each of the gifts because I believed, it is given by God.

Thanks Jesus! For a wonderful start before my birthday.

=)

And I pray more shall be added unto me!

In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

A MEETING That Touched my HEART

2010-01-17T09:59:00.002+08:00

It was a dinner with Elaine, one of my helpers from my 1st CG.

I had always admired her for her talents, her gifts, her characters.

And... She always seem so faraway and I never really know her very well.

But yesterday dinner with her, opened me up to a deeper insight of her.

Her sacrifices, her hardships, and what she went through till how God opened doorways for her and her husband.

I was touched deeply in a miraculous way.

And to hear about Cliff and Pearly's story from her, I really see how God's way is higher than our ways and prayer never failed.

For days I had been asking, is money all people can think about, and how Singapore has become such a reality country that I felt that it has become hard to believe that all that I ever do is on track from God even if it wasn't the best job in the mind of people.

But yesteday dinner, I saw that every doorways that is opened is an opportunity, no matter how small it is.

For after entering it, is a whole new dimension.

And I believe, for myself, for my future, for the someone of my future, as long as we love God and be willing to obey Him, He will never fail us.

And He will ensure, every single steps we take is a step closer to our destiny.

And one thing I learnt is to have relationships above all things for relationships create opportunities into a realm of unknown and breakthrough.

And everythings started from relationships.

And I thanks God that this is the best birthday gift so far.

Beside the fact that she remembered my birthday and gave me a treat but this 3-4 hrs of sharing really opened me up and God, I love this answer that I has been asking You for.

Because when You are silent and still, You have prepared a way to show me the answer.

And now, I am determined to fulfill this call.

Think beyond what I am thinking.

Confess a 1000 times!

Yes, I can.

Talent without relationship is not stewardship excellance.
In serving God, we're also serving others.

- Elaine

I will remember this and I will remember why I choose this path and walk with God even when people don't understand.

Because this is the door that God opened for me.

Confession to MAKE!

2010-01-17T01:20:00.004+08:00

I have a confession to make!

That my handphone bill shoot up to $116 and it is not due to my BB then what is the cost?

All because of my data plan that is not disactivated before my Blackberry plan kicked in.

So, my data plan itself hit to $230 but starhub gave me $203 discount.

Yet plus GST, it isn't that cheap afterall.

I was having heart attack when I saw it and I went and talked to my mum.

And lo and behold, my mum said, no problem, your dad will pay anyway since the electrical bill got $80 discount.

And to say the true, my dad took the responsibility to pay for my handphone bill along with my sis's handphone bill and all housing bills that we have because over the years, when recession kicked in, my dad couldn't really gave her much allowance as before, because as some of you know, my dad was cheated by his best friend and in return, owed credit cards debt.

It was a hard time when I was 12 because my mum was super angry with my dad and we were suppose to shift house.

Yet somehow, we made it through, my dad still owed the debt but we paid off the housing loan for our 2nd house within a year and the house belonged to us.

And later part of the years, my mum decided to start working again and I drifted apart from my parents because they were no longer frequently around me and I needed to be a babysitter for my sister.

Tough but God's plan always prevailed.

When I got saved in 2004, my dad's debt wasn't clear off immediately but blessings started to come into my household and protection over our finances as I started to give my tithe and offerings.

I make sure, I will not miss a single time of opportunities to give and even at the expense of skipping my meals, fast so that I could save up, I make sure, tithe and offerings must be 1st given to God.

And right here right now, if people said that my parents so nice, paid for my bills, then I can say, it is the personal responsibility that they willing to take for us.

They have this unsaid agreement on how to provide for us.

My mum took care of our allowance and my dad took care of all the bills.

They might not have much physical saving, but they do investments with their CPF and they worked hard for the future of us.

And when I went with the news that my bill shoot up to $116, my dad just told me, it's alright but of course, it is a blessing and I can't take it for granted.

I will keep track of my bill since I just started out with my Blackberry and after calling starhub and ensure the usage of my plan...

Now I can use with a peaceful heart!

This is my confession to make and I proud to say, I got a pair of parents that might not be perfect but they always put us 1st to love us and even if they are traditional but the way they provide for us really inspired me to know what to do for my future family.

Thanks dad for caring and understand and even if you are the silent dad in the family, but instead of questioning why my bill is so high, you instead understand me...

And thanks Daddy God for bringing the blessings, knowing that many times I asked You, and seek You and knock and knock and You never once cast me away but showing me time after time how loving You are. =)

Every single thing in life is a blessing from on high and I don't want to take things for granted.

Tough but BREAKING Through

2010-01-17T00:59:00.002+08:00

I wish my friend is here so that I can share more.

But I also know, even if he asked me to sms him whenever there is anything even as he is at overseas, I couldn't really do it if it is meant to make me strong.

Facing the possibility of losing job, wanting to rush to Haiti, facing people who I don't know whether they can see that instead of being negative, they should be positive...

Etc and etc, I wish I can complain and I turned to God. Because I want to be stronger with the strength of God.

Yet I leave a message when I thought I am going Haiti and when I am not and also the news about our church building because, all these define my moments of breaking through, even if I hasn't been to Haiti and last min received news that I wasn't in the team but still, I am in the waiting list, awaiting news from MJ and the Citycare Org.

And I thank God for the watch and chocolates.

It remind me that I should still be awaiting.

I was partly thinking, if I go for the trip, I might not be back in time for the celebration and in my heart, I am praying that it will not clash and I double checked a couple times to ensure, it will not clash.

When I couldn't go Haiti, somehow, my friend was being encouraging... and said, if it is meant to be, I should be happy and indeed, I am happy...

I never think much like being asked not to, and my mind really goes blank but as many things came clashing into me, I saw the hands of God holding me.

And... I looked at the chocolates and as I ate it, I feel less stressful.

Indeed, it is tough but breaking through. =)

And... for side note... 20th Jan in 4 more days... Awaiting the return of my friend. =) Have a safe trip back...

A TEST

2010-01-15T14:19:00.001+08:00

I will make it through, this test of life.

In this crossword of decisions, let me see a clearer light... =)

Disappointment?

2010-01-15T11:11:00.002+08:00

Disappointed am I?

At 1st yes, but after thinking about it, I realized God will plan something better for me.

I might not go for the trip, but I enjoy every moments I have in SG.

Enjoyed being with my family.

Enjoyed food.

Enjoyed being afraid of insects.

Just plainly treasured all that I have. =)

God, Bring Me Through

2010-01-13T21:32:00.002+08:00

Beside my friend not here for a week...

I was feeling a bit down because of a news at work.

Really praying about it now.

God what SHALL I do?

Believing

2010-01-12T15:50:00.003+08:00

Always believing that when God give a vision, He lead us to our DESTINY.

Was pin-ing my friend today.

Was quite surprised that she messaged me.

But the conversation was one that I was so fired up yet I couldn't show it to her.

I know she is down, when her dream is gone from her.

Yet she failed to see the other way for her.

Others have saw it for her, I have saw it for her...

But she want it her own way.

Believing?

Is it that hard?

If you are in the situation, you will find it hard and I can understand for I went through the same doubt to find that God has planned everything according to His divine timing.

Trust and do not doubt.

Faith is the substance of the things hoped for, evidence of the things not seen.

And today, I still living it... =)

Tough but LOOKING on...

2010-01-12T11:26:00.002+08:00

Sometimes it is really tough, when people you once know or like become people you wanna stay away from.

To see someone turned into some people that I need to beware, I thought back those good times and ultimately, I choose to decide to stay away.

For to the person, the good times no longer matters and it become a unworthy memory.

If friendship if this cheap to the person, no longer need to hold it too against the heart for, letting go will sometimes released burdens...

I am looking on, and moving on from this person's life.

And let someone familiar become a stranger.

Another Blog?

2010-01-11T22:26:00.000+08:00

I must have more than 4 blog accounts!

Can anyone believe it?

To find out more, you may access through my links on the right side.

Under "Other Parts of Me"!

Awesome Conversations

2010-01-10T15:16:00.003+08:00

Had a facebook private message with a long-time helper from my 1st CG.

She is always someone I am inspired to be.

Never got a chance to really be close to her, but through how she lived her life, I learnt from her, and determined to be someone like her.

She is always the one who caused me to decide to give to God 5 years of my life to prepare myself for my future and the destiny God give to me.

And who knows, when I message her for her BB Pin, she initiated a meet up and it really touched my heart when she spoke of one of my vision that I shared with her like 3 years ago at JW root top.

That was super long.

And today, God still reminded me of this vision that before my destiny, this is what I need to reach.

1st Goal... Here I come!

Dream of it, visualise it.

The next 1 year, is a season of greater height, and I want to prepare myself even more.

And really hope that I got a chance to meet up with her.

And maybe her husband will come also as I never see them apart. =)

*3rd time in a week that I am reminded of this vision. =) Yes, I will make it through!*

I break the rules!

2010-01-10T14:41:00.000+08:00

Okay, I know someone will "hai" because while I still got cough, I actually ate chicken and chocolate.

But I did that for a reason cause I am now feeling better and the cough will continue at least for some more while.

Knowing I always got persistance cough, so I now feel that I am better so I ate.

But now I am feeling sick because of this meal that my office prepared for everyone.

Oily and plain oily!

I took honey green tea and the oily-ness still with me.

Argh!

Now, I need a good rest!

Enlarging my vision

2010-01-09T22:57:00.001+08:00

Overnight PM with Yilun, and today service once against reminded me of my 1st calling to God.

Really very touched, really very impacted.

1st goal, here I come...

I won't hesistate anymore, thinking that I am too introvert to lead.

I will press in and look up.

I will pray and confess and dream of it until it come to pass.

I will see beyond my current situations...

And I believe, God will do even more than what I see.

Time to put vision into work! =)

Seeing One's True Colors

2010-01-09T22:31:00.003+08:00

God has an amazing way to teach me new lesson.

I always tried to see whether someone can be trustable and often, I found myself observing them to determine whether they have a heart that is genuine.

I thought, this person in my workplace can be my friend but turned out, not only do I saw through her true characters flaws, but I starting to beware of her.

If misunderstandings happened only with one person, we can think it is just the clashing with one another characters.

If misunderstandings happened with 2 persons, that is something to wonder about.

If misunderstandings happened with 3 persons, definitely something is wrong.

That what happened, one colleague had a misunderstanding with her, and she came to me talking about how she disliked the person and all... Until the colleague also talked bad about her and... she decided to confront the person.

2nd time, with another colleague, same thing happened... But no confrontations.

And 3rd time, it happened with me and this time round, my colleague shown me the various stuffs she talked about me and for a moment, I really angry to the max...

But thinking back...

It shown one person true colors.

I made my fair share of mistakes, but this incident taught me to be beware of people who seem nice to me, but we never know when will we get hurts.

To think back, it seem like its time for me to stay away.

Friendship can only reach a certain point with people who refused to learn.

And... through this, I saw my own weakness and may God teach me how to overcome it.

In 2010, I am detemined to be wiser, be more understanding, be more discipline.

Fast more, pray more...

And to meet people who is truly God-sent.

Gone are those who come in sheep-clothing but is actually a wolf in covering.

Appearing are angels who will bring us closer to our destiny.

God, thanks for reassured me.

And thanks for loving me.

Turmoils?

2010-01-08T00:55:00.002+08:00

Overwhelming emotions that I faced once again.

Alone and maybe I come to realise, I just need to seek God one on one?

Because afterall, God is always there for me.

When nobody understand, He does.

When nobody bother, He does.

When nobody cares, He does.

He knows the way for us and I need to look ahead.

Hopefully won't have insomia tonight.

Heavy Hearted

2010-01-08T00:17:00.002+08:00

Back from overnight prayer meeting, and reaffirmed of my calling through what God spoke to me and from Yi Lun.

Yet as I was on my way home, I can't help but feeling heavy-hearted.

God, why am I being placed in this environment?

With hypocrisp around?

Really feel lost, just want to have a memory that forget and a heart to forgive.

Just one moment of thought, won't it be good if the children of God learn how to be more understanding? Then maybe, the world won't laugh at us for thinking we are higher than them.

If we can truly be humble, things will be different.

God, show me Your ways so that I know the next step to take.

Testing of Patience

2010-01-07T09:22:00.001+08:00

Has been tested in my patience again and again.

Feeling so irritated yesterday.

But God said one thing, "forgiveness is given when true repentance exist."

God, helps me...

Even if the person never see that she is wrong too...

Just helps me to stretch myself.

Appreciate

2010-01-05T23:09:00.003+08:00

Thanks my friend for accompanying me to see doctor.

Will listen to you and avoid all unnecessary stuffs that will worsen my condition.

I need to gain back my health before my birthday and also, chocolates are waiting for me.

Really wanna appreciate you for all that you have done.

Even if I love to prank you.

Well, because you are such a good-nature person.

So...

But still, really appreciate you.

=) And may I gain back my health by next week!

Goal Setting for 2010

2010-01-05T14:38:00.002+08:00

Everyone have started their goal setting and I must start mine!

2009 wasn't the best year for many of us but yet, the goodness of God surpasses all.

And 2010 will be a breakthrough year!

To start it off...

SPIRITUAL LIFE!!!

Finish Bible at least ONCE!
I know I am lagging behind. I know after SOT 2008 ended, I hasn't been reading my bible as regularly as last time and I know I should seriously repent! 2010 is the perfect year! I need to get back on track!!!

Listening to at least 1 sermon a week and 1 book a month!
That why I got myself a Blackberry. So that wherever I go, I can type my sermon! And I need to buck up in reading books. I got so many books stored in my box and... I am guilty of not reading them!

Rising up!
Last year, I chose to step down to rethink about my life when I faced a nervous breakdown. At that moment, I prayed and chose to go Indonesia for Crisis relief works. It wasn't easy. There are times I really want to cry. The moment after I talked to my Zone Leader and put down the phone crying, I really don't know what to think. Where is my vision? 5 years of running for a vision for others, I need to know, is it what I want? When I was back from Indonesia, I found my answer but I was put into another transition, without a title, one question I asked myself, do I still love Him and trust Him. Today I know and I know, my God has something wonderful prepared for me. Seeing lives that said I touched them and lives that still being touches when God uses me to care for them. This year, I want to breakthrough in my ministry. Rising up against as a CGC and also a CGL. Yes, I can! =)

Family Salvation
I still praying for my mum to be saved, my sis to be water baptize. If my mum is saved, my dad won't be any problem. And God, I hoped to see some old-timers be back against. Those that I currently aiming to follow up on.

RELATIONSHIPS!!!

STRONGER Friendships
Last year, I had been through so much with my dearest friends. We saw through one another weaknesses and strengths. We learnt to accept one another imperfection and we grow up knowing God even more and be wiser. This year, I believing for a deeper friendships ahead that in good or bad times, I want be there for them just like God has placed them into my life to be there for me when I need them.

ATTACHED
Ok, so I finally admit to this. I still remember an inner joke I had with my helper 3 years back when we were at Riverwalk and Kenneth was there. Kenneth was asking where I came down from and I was telling him, I came down from attachment. And my helper and him turned to be and goes... "What? Attached?" Well, I has been pretty relax about this actually. Beside the facts that in my life, many times my 1st CGL tried to persuade me to attach when I was under him, he even called up my new CGL in joy when someone confessed to him about liking me. Guess it is his joy to see those sisters under him married young. Given that most of us given our youth to follow him. Back to topic, God has always been faithful. When men told me to give up the idea that God spoke, I presses on.

GOOD listening ears
I have been training myself in this. Given that almost everyday, I will have 1 person coming to me to share. Glad to hear but sometimes can be tiring yet I want to train myself to expand this capacity so that I can serve others more and understand their heart even more. And learn to put myself in their shoes. Not all experiences can be fixed into the same shoes, neither all advises fixed into everyone's lives, but I trying my best to learn to be loving. =)

HEALTH!!!

Cut DOWN on INTAKE of Maggi Mee
Leslie always said, I couldn't live without my daily dose of instant noodles. Despite how unhealthy it is. Argh and now... I am determined to cut down from 3-4 times/week to 1-2 times/week. Remind me please!

Exercise
Jessica said should organise CG jogging session so that we can improve our health. I totally agree with this! Yes. It is time! I need to start to tone up and be healthy since I only got 1 life to live. =X

EMOTIONAL!!!

BALANCED Emotions
Need me to say more? I know I got this bad temper when I truly angry and sorry if anyone got scolded big times by me. I tried to control by staying silent. =X I am determined to bring a balance!

LEISURE!!!

TAIWAN!!!
Went to Sri Lanka and Padang last year. Not really for Leisure purposes. But Taiwan shall be my 1st real holiday! Not just risk-taking. Hahaha... aw... Taiwan... *.* I can't wait to messaged all my Taiwanese friends and arranged for meet up and snap photos with them. Hehehe... Not to forget, for Taiwan, I wanna break my rules by shopping beside eating.

OTHERS?

Direction!
Those know me for years would know that marketplace is within my vision but not my 1st focus. I need to know what is the next step to take to move closer to my VISION!

I wanna start off 2010 in a great way and end it off even greater!

For God will always be the STRENGTH of my HEART!

Stubborn + Cranky Mood = Bad!

2010-01-05T11:14:00.001+08:00

I should have see a doctor earlier shouldn't I?

Bad experiences with my family doctor made me hesitated to visit him.

But my mood is getting cranky and I know that if I refused to go and see a doctor, I am preparing to be sick even longer.

God, I believe in healing...

When I see a doctor, please let me be well after I finish the course of medications...

Fasting, Empowering Tomorrow

2010-01-03T21:26:00.002+08:00

Someone asked me, what are the things you going to fast for.

And in my heart I smiled and wrote, that is for me to know.

There are many things that has been in my heart that I feel the needs to fast for for this year.

Just 21 days before my birthday and the need to find answers before I reach my 22nd birthday is so important for me.

I won't want to start off the year bad.

Neither do I want my year to be very ordinary.

I want it to be different.

I want it to be the start of a blast toward my call and my goals.

Fasting, it is the empowering of the future and moving on from the past.

The 1st post of the year! In 2010!

2010-01-03T15:17:00.002+08:00

Goodness, what a blast I had...

Even though I am sick... and I couldn't eat the chocolate.

But I enjoyed the fireworks during the countdown, though I dislike being in a crowd.

Lots of happening things for the 1st 2 days.

Received cards and gifts and messages from all sort of places.

Most importantly, I watched Avatar 3D!

And I am a very satisfied girl.

But nonetheless, I think I wanna beat up Chloe's bf.

For asking me some personal questions during the game.

Yes, I know it is the rule of the game but oh boy... =.="

Nonetheless, as my birthday is drawing near, I should start thinking of the wish list.

What surprise will I get?

Ending 2009 in a Bittersweet Mood

2009-12-30T11:13:00.001+08:00

Looking back to 2009, really went through a lot and I am so happy that Trudy and Jin Long are entering into SOT next year.

Yesterday fellowship really reminded us of how much we had grown.

It felt like yesterday when all of us gathered together for a fellowship.

2 years had passed and another year is coming.

Wow, it is amazing.

Time flies, but though the bittersweet feeling is there but next year will be an even better year. =)

Slight Idea

2009-12-29T11:05:00.002+08:00

I have a slight idea why God would instruct me to be prepare for the next fasting which I will start a few days after New Year.

For how long?

That is for me to know.

God, I need a clearer answer than this.

I need a clearer path.

2010, another year is coming.

Let GOD make it the best for me!

What a Humourous God I have

2009-12-29T09:52:00.002+08:00

I was pretty much in a mixed feeling situation yesterday that turned into anger when I woke up this morning.

The more I thought back how the whole confusion started, the more I am =.=.

Saw a sms this morning, and I thought for a moment...

And on my way to God, I was ranting to Him...

"God, I am really angry! How? How? How?"

"Lord, I am truly very angry..."

And the music I listening to just make me more moody. =.="

"Child, why not listening to this song of yours."

"My favorite worship song?"

"But God, can I just be a bit moody 1st?"

And lo and behold, I was moody for 5 more min before I went "argh!" and changed my music.

Now I feel much better after listening to it.

For those who wanna know how to calm my anger, sorry, this secret is between my God and I.

A reflection for 2009

2009-12-29T09:13:00.001+08:00

This year I made many decisions that changes my life in various major ways and I thank God for it, no matter what I went through.

But as I thought back,

I really want to thank my beloved brothers and sisters for being there.

Thanks Mark for always listening. Goodness, you are my only brother who can afford to travel just to meet me for a chill out to hear my talking and talking and just talking until you ended into NS. But you are still my best brother! =)

Thanks Leslie, you are another one. Will travel to come and meet me whenever you know I am a bit confused and downs. Have been such a wonderful big brother. =)

Thanks Paul, well... you are another big brother to me, from SOT days till now. I don't really mind helping you to run errand by the way cause it is fun to think about it. =) And you and Leslie, always my big brothers. Always there to help me.

Thanks Ricky... Said the most by me, threatened the most by me... But then you are still an awesome brother. Just don't be like Nemo. Hahaha... Be awesome not emo! [Rickson's tagline]

Thanks Hsuan, you another one. Get bullied by me the most but because of it, you entered into my top 5 brothers category. Hahaha...

Somehow, the above brother also make my secret vision a reality. To bring comfortable environment to my friends. Remember, there are times, I would bring Joseph and Garfield to join in NYP fellowship and Mark is the 1st one to say, of course can and make them so welcome. Subsequently, when people need seats during service, Hsuan also another one and he make friends with Val and Carrisa just like that.

Beyond boundaries... You guys are the best! =)

For sisters,

Thanks Tong! Knowing you is so much fun actually. =) Being a wonderful sister. Go your service can find you and your CGL also very friendly too that make me feel so at home. No wonder if Carrisa need to choose a CG to sit with when she go for make up service, she will find you. =)

Thanks Carrisa! Well, you can be blur at times, but you still cute! Goodness, I always lost to your puppy eyes. =.=" I prayed I have more control next year! =P

Thanks Val! This year we have our ups and downs but we all grow even stronger. You also and you are still one of my best sister!!! =)

The total brothers I gained for this year are 5 and sisters are 3.

And all of them are people who I went through ups and downs with.

Hope 2010 will be yet another wonderful year for all of us! =)

Overwhelming Feelings

2009-12-29T00:45:00.000+08:00

Somehow it is overwhelming...

And I dislike these mixture of feelings.

For once, I am not that logical.

But I told myself, I got to be firm with myself.

Yes, I will.

Afterall, no one can be as good at this as me?

I am so used to having mixture of feelings.

And who knows my cries?

For once, God, I recognised only You knows.

And I feel better after writing this down.

Thanks Jesus for being my One and only One.

Revelations for 2010!

2009-12-28T09:19:00.001+08:00

2009 hasn't been a very smooth year for me, but to see myself taking my 1st step into my vision was a bittersweet feeling.

And God didn't do it just one but two times for me.

As I stepping into 2010, the voice of God came to me and once again, to start the year with faith.

Can I trust Him even more for a greater breakthrough year for 2010?

I sure want to. =)

God, I believe, 2010 will be a greater year with You.

With more excitements in this walk with You.

With greater dream and vision and a step closer to what You have called me to do.

It will be a fun time once again! =)

Sherlock Holmes

2009-12-28T09:11:00.000+08:00

Never really read the novel about Sherlock Holmes but I always heard about it since I was young and yesterday I watched about at Cineleisure.

It was a nice movie.

Interesting and the sound effect was wow!

Overall, nice movie and I awaiting to watch Avatar 3D!

So many movies this season!

May I have the time to watch all? Hahaha

Prayers moves MOUNTAINS

2009-12-27T14:32:00.002+08:00

Evertimes I have doubts, uncertainty, one thing I learnt over the years is to pray and leave it to God.

Sometimes it seem hard, sometimes it seem to be stagnant.

But whenever the prayer come to pass, I know and I know, my God is there for me.

Counting down to the end of 2009, I had seem many prayers coming to pass.

By faith, I claimed my promises...

2010, in 4 and a half days time...

I won't give up without a fight.

Another year of greater breakthrough.

7 years of being in church...

7 = Jesus!

More anointings, more power...

Come on! I can do it...

For... PRAYERS MOVES MOUNTAINS!

Rainbow of Promises

2009-12-27T00:02:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, as I walked passed the MRT control station at Expo, I saw a rainbow reflected on the floor.

How many people will slow down their pace and take a look at this sight?

None...

But I slow myself down and looked at it.

A smile came upon me.

This is the promise between the Lord and I that all I ever think or imagine, He will add upon me.

And today as I looked through my blog design, it is rainbow, the promise between the Lord and I...

Thank God for always reminding me of all His promises.

And I know, 2010, will be a year of greater breakthrough! =)

Closing 2009 in 7 DAYS time

2009-12-25T17:25:00.002+08:00

1st of all, I wanna thank my friend for the gift.

Secretly, I want to get a watch, but I know, no matter what watch I get, my wrist is too small to contain it.

But because now I got a watch, I can motivate myself to find someone who can modify the chain for me.

Somehow, I couldn't believe, in my darkest moment, God has not only been there for me, but place friend to be there for me.

It comes to show me, how much God cares for me, and how much He has answered my prayer.

Yes, this year seem to be restarting what I had achieved.

And in this darkest moment of doubt, instead of people trying to question me, I found someone who truly understand.

It is all that matters.

Fall and get back again.

It matters a lot to me.

And God, I believed, even when none is there, You will surely be there for me, through mountains and storms and valley.

Yet I know You also cares enough to ensure I am never alone.

Truly, this is the cry of my heart.

2009 is coming to an end, and counting down, I still got 30 more days to be birthday.

Greater blessings will come.

More promises will be fulfil.

For my God knows what is there for me.

And I glad He answered prayers.

Because, I know, all these years, 6 years in church, I has seem more miracles than my entire life before I was 16 years old.

Because of who He is, there I know, I am who I suppose to be.

And I know, the day will come where I am no longer walking alone to fulfill this call of His.

Jesus, may 2010 be a great year for everyone!

6th years celebrating Christmas!

2009-12-25T15:32:00.000+08:00

Coming to think of it, it is my 6th year celebrating Christmas as a believer since 2004.

Coming to think about it, Christmas is always a time of breakthrough and warfares.

I can always remember somehow, various Christmas got different things coming up...

1st year of Christmas, I was seriously "persecuted" by my bestie's mum because I brought her to church and got her saved. I still remembered what she told me about her mum wanna to chase me out of their house with a broom if she saw me again. My 1st time experiencing what was it like to be scolded by parents behind my back for God's work.

2nd year of Christmas, known Jun Jie and he got saved and while he was under me, he became my brother for the sake of tahan through my strictness and being mould in various ways together. It was truly great to see his life changes.

3rd year of Christmas, I fought it through by inviting my friends for Christmas right after prayer meeting. Got to get to work after prayer. I don't have many unbelievers friends but for the 1st time, I saw myself bringing about 5 friends for service.

4th year of Christmas, stress and pressure, seeing people I once cared for no longer beside. Yet, I remembered that because Jesus loves me, His grace is sufficient for me.

5th year of Christmas, my mum came for service. Breakthrough after proclaiming since I got saved that my mum will slowly be touch. Her salvation is on the way I believed.

6th year of Christmas, giving up a chance to be in the main hall to sit with 2 of my dearest friends were worth it all. Thanks God for this blessing.

6 years in CHC. Life has been ups and downs, but I believed next year will be better.

Going on to the next level.

Building lives.

Creating joy.

And lastly, to fulfill the call of God.