Knowing what I want
Sunday, November 30, 2008
In life, it is so important to know what we want.
Think I has talked to Carrisa and Valerie sometimes back and to think back, I has grow up from my confusion stage. In career path and everything and suddenly, I felt, I should just go with what the Lord has been speaking about and also to go with my heart as God always prone us through our heart.
Has been relying on others for so long, now is the time to go back to the me that my Lord want me to be. To be reliable and to be a faith-filled woman of God.
My faith in Jesus is always within me, just that sometimes I like circumstances blinded me, now... I just need to remove the obstacles to see the path so that I can walk.
Yes, I can walk again.
Thanks Jesus for being my support...Labels: Destination
Remembering the LORD @ 10:15 PM
AC Conference PHOTO!
Asia Conference had ended just a week ago. Man, I felt like dreaming... And guess what? I took quite a no of photo with my PON new friends. Though I don't has all their contacts. Well, I missed them, hope to be able to recognise them when I saw them in church.
During rehearsal...
Finally a GROUP PHOTO! This is not the end...Before actual performance for thurs night... Man, the make up make us looked different and like what David and Basil said, I was basically soaking myself in the presence of different nationalities. Maybe thar why God calls me to nations? =P
With the Indonesian Representative. I really like the traditional costume of Indonesia. Envy envy... =P
With Pascale. Representative of India. Can't imagine, Basil, Pascale, Yu Jie and I were in the PON. Saw Rickson and Carrisa on fri and Rickson was commenting that he saw the 4 of us and he kept laughing at us. =.=" But Pascale looked nice. Oop, forget to ask her, is that her costume and it always reminded me of her "journey to the WEST to look for her husband" when we went for NYP outing that time at the Japanese food stall at Dhoby exchange link. =P
YU JIE! Classic joker. We kept laughing and man, when asked him shared joke, we really felt wu ya died already. =P
Yu Jie with his sign board. Muhahaha...
My counter North Korea partner. Now think back, poor Basil, get bullied by me. =P Well, since I got the chance to do that, I got to get back at him for that time at Carrisa's chalet which he showed off his so "amazing voice" and man, I couldn't even sleep properly that night... =P Maybe he will become the next Abel, emerged from bathroom singer.
Another new friend I know from PON. Oh no, now I forget his name. =X Man, if you read my blog, come chat with me on msn, after a week, if I seldom chat with you, I might forget your name. =X Sorry sorry.
With one of the China representative. Cute! =D
With my new zone member. The Barney... Forever I will remember you as Barney since that fateful day at the Halloween Party. =P
PRANEE! My SOT partner... Chosen as a Thai representative because of her Thai name. =P Look cool in her tower hat. She attracted all attention. Hahaha...
With my partner again. Muhahaha the end product after the performance. We all seem more relax...
David, in his Japanese Yukata. And what with all the hands???
With another China representative. She so pretty and her Qi Pao so nice.
South Korea male counterpart, me as North Korea female counterpart and the whole of China representative. Hahaha... Where are my male North Korea counterpart and his female South Korea counterpart? They gone missing!!!
After the performance, we went back to hall 10 and thanks God, they allowed us to enter into Hall 8. But before we leave the place, we didn't forget to take some photo. It will be a long time before the nations gathers again...
Labels: PON
Remembering the LORD @ 10:03 PM
Asia Conference
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Things I found it to be fun in Asia Conference:
1. Running for the 1st performance on Wed.
Bee Ling, Eunice, Joseph, Jason, Lena, I and another girl were running when the one who suppose to bring us to the back stage went missing.
I ran in high heel boots, and we ran past security men and went into hall 8 from hall 9, getting lost and I bumped into a girl from choir, nearly slipped and fall flat on my face, but thanks God for a board that I hold in time, and with slight injury at my ankle, I finished the performance with no problem. Hallelujah!
2. The time before PON.
Was grabbing whatever nationalities I could grab and took ton of photos with them.
My Korean counterpart and a couple of "china counterparts" were there saying that I seemed to be taking photo with the whole world. And my South Korean counter-part girl refusing to sit down on the floor because of her green top and red bottom hanbok.
"No, I won't sit down."
"Why?" I asked.
"Cause I will look like a tomato."
"Huh?" I replied.
"See, my green top is the leave and my red bottom is the tomato color."
"Who said one."
"Me."
"Zzzzz... Sit down."
"No, don't want."
Yes, that how we passed the time while waiting for go on stage.
3. Eating with Joseph and Garfield.
We sneaked into the hall and thanks Garfield for food. And Joseph came and there we were, enjoying the food.
It came at the right time, AC was good but I spent quite a bit on cabbing and I vowed to myself, I want to get the job I want and earn more money. To be a blessing to others.
4. Queuing with Irvin.
Irvin, a old time CG member, someone who I knows like 4 years since Zhenghua Era revival. From argument to now a good friend, well, he gave good and enlightenment advices.
Maybe it was a good time to queue with him, cause I realised, I need to go up another level and stop being timid in some areas, I am already 20, going 21. No longer sweet 16 or 18.
5. Sitting at the front.
I love sitting at the front. Can see the stage clearly, enjoyed a tremendous presence of God and enjoyed the show without seeing the scene. I forgot to bring my spectacle and oh man, I can really see. Struggle to see the stage when I sat up at the slope but oh well, something people said is true, better to has a seat at hall 8 than to has no seat.
6. Enjoy serving at SOT booth.
Well, I wish I can serve more. They needed helps and I gladly offered help. SOT booth is not as isolated as I think it is. 1st day, Pastor Kelvin and Pastor Ming came and talked to us.
Pastor Ming thought it was a Children Church booth while Pastor Kelvin asked us questions.
Well, some unhappy things happened during AC too but I now decided to give it to God. Wendy reminded me when I was sharing about my sister's condition that, it is not about the situations but is about how we response to it.
At least, I tried to smile when it happened though in various ways, I might sound harsh to begin with. Oh well, let forget about it. Hahaha...Labels: Asia Conference
Remembering the LORD @ 8:56 AM
Crossing Over
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Has been stagnant for more than I wish to.
It is time to stand up, against the world, the bondage and to set the captives free.
I has been hiding my spirit of Faith and forgetting my call.
It is time O God...
I want to make a different, in society and even in the world.
To leave behind a legacy and by Your word of truth, we're crossing over.
I want to win the lost for YOU!Labels: Crossing Over
Remembering the LORD @ 1:01 AM
Where's the limit to breaking limitation?
Monday, November 17, 2008
Where is the limit to breaking limitation?
Joyce instructed us to rest well, try not to fall sick...
And here I am, having headache unlike other days.
A sense of nausiness came upon me.
I am not sick until I am like need to be bedridden, but for so long, whenever I want to sleep, msn and even phone calls will come.
Sometimes, I really like, wah... last time I shouldn't say no one msning me, now sometimes people msning me to ask about this and that person. My line is opened 24/7 in the net whenever I appears online for others to vent anger and also to chit-chat but not open if anyone gonna ask me this question that question about this person that person, I'm a person, but a spy... =X
Sometimes, my blog seem like a corner for me to shaqre my view, speak my opinion and also to share my inner feeling.
Sometimes, I can be as emotional as storm, wonder why...
Well, I am just upset and sometimes, no one really slow down a little to chat...
Time is limited, and my health suffered again just like when I was in my Poly years.
Well, I really not suitable for late night wakey moment and also early morning call.
My mum found it ridiculous, she often thought I need to wake up and go out by then and all I said is, "mum, is a phone call." And world war III started.
How to has a balance in a unbalance situation?
Or to put it simply, an unbalance physical body?
Why am I not a night owl?
Maybe it won't be hurt to be one.
Sometimes I feel like screaming...
Why this or that turn out to be that way?
Why am I just so different from others?
Where is a limitation to breaking limit?
To has breakthrough, I want it and I know there is always a price to pay...
But to what extend?
Or maybe, no extend?
We each lives in someone else's conviction unknowingly.
Following someone example.
But where will we found ourselves?
Jesus, what about You?
What will You do, if this happen to You?
People taught me, that to know to react, You are the Guide and now...
I really need to think it Your ways...Labels: Limitation
Remembering the LORD @ 1:31 AM
Let go of the old to embrace the new
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Many will know this...
To move on, is to let go of the past.
For me, to move on, is to face the past and defeated it.
I hasn't truly be free from it and again and again, I found it hard to say no to it, yet I got to shouldn't I, so that I can has a true new beginning.
It is easy to say, I has a new beginning but hard to go for it.
I want and demand myself to let go of the old habits and mindset to embrace a new thinking and future...Labels: New Beginning
Remembering the LORD @ 4:47 PM
What is the appropriate?
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Today was reading one of my ex-SOT classmate's blog.
And well, it was amazing how I came across his post about do we really think that it is not ok to meet guys or gals regularly? Even though it is just pure friendship?
Well, it reminded of an incident when someone want to know me as a friend and has asked me out for a dinner.
Being someone who lives on a motto of never went out with a guy alone unless it is a really close friend, I said I has an appointment as just nice, I fixed an appointment and met up with a couple of ex-SOT classmates / good friends.
And to think, the various brothers I went out with is all my super duper good buddies or big brothers.
And to think, I only went out alone with someone I like only once and it was by pure incident somemore.
Well, girl's thinking is always different from guy's thinking.
We can never know what a guy is thinking, neither is the girl.
Simplicity is the best!Labels: Simplicity
Remembering the LORD @ 8:47 PM
Destination
I need a distinct destination.Labels: Destination
Remembering the LORD @ 9:28 AM
Simplicity
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
First of all, thanks Paul for speaking those words to me.
Simplicity is what I need.
Not complication.
I always thought life is complicated.
But the truth is, we make it complicated.
Why can't we just focus on the call of God and just leave behind the additional voices?
Well, I just got to learn.
So must to learn.
Too stubborn, too much self-conscious.
I got to be focus.
Focus. The key to SUCCESS!
What am I waiting for?
Move on...Labels: Simplicity
Remembering the LORD @ 11:18 PM
A Path Ahead
People often come and give suggestion on the path we should take.
They would often think, this is the best for you, focus this and you will do well.
Well, I stop believing in all the suggestions, as in the roundabout, it turn out, that God set a path, like what others believes, yet God also assured me that I will do just fine.
It is a little step at a time, focusing in marketplace and ministry.
And many thoughts, if you focus in one area, you got to give up another.
Yet, I want to believe that Jesus is my strength and He will lead me through.
He has called me, bringing me to a higher ground.
And I want to believe that life should just stop here, in one place but to move forward to another area.
The next 1 year, will be a year of excitement.
A year which friendship and trust will be tested.
My path o Lord, is set by You.
Take me deeper O God.
To where You want me to be.
I stopped saying much not because I can't speak, but because I am amazed by the works of my Father.Labels: Calling
Remembering the LORD @ 1:37 PM
Goodbye My Friend
8 years of friendship, ended up with a disagreement.
Different belief, different lives.
The promises we made, the trust we had, it is all gone in a blink of our eyes.
Though it was a secret goodbye but it seem to mark the closing of my past.
A friendship I tried to hold on.
Trying to believe that you will come to experience the God I encountered.
Yet, times after times, you thought I was silly, to believe in something I could not see.
The promise of being single forever and company one another forever even until we become old granny...
It seem to be one I couldn't keep.
I has been holding on too long that today, reality finally hit me and I realised, why I had been holding back.
Never, never mixed with unequally yoke, even if they are your friends...
I make the mistakes and I now paid for the price.
The tear I shed, the cries I make.
It can never be make up for.
Yet, it's times to move on.
Even if you will never see this post, my friend...
I just want to say...
Goodbye my friend.
Labels: Goodbye
Remembering the LORD @ 12:54 AM
Pondering Thoughts
Monday, November 10, 2008
Only my beloved brother can speak wisdom to me in that area beside God and a few others.
Advices that make me ponder nights and yet doesn't make me feel pressurizing.
Has been chatting with him, my brother from SOT last night.
Always been an adviser to me.
Sometimes people don't understand why I share so much with him, but since the SOT days, he has been taking of me like a sister, just like Vok from the "marketplace", and it caused me to be open just like a sister.
He mentioned something that even right now I am still thinking.
Am I making that promise because I'm plainly stubborn, or it is because I want to prove that I can do it just like others who has run before me.
People questioned about my decision to go with the promise but only one person encourage me to go.
God never speak anything and I go with it because the one who asked me to is someone I really treasure but now the question being raise up and how much longer am I going to avoided it?
Who doesn't want to be take care by someone?
Who doesn't want to feel love?
Who doesn't want to feel security?
Who doesn't want to be lead?
And who doesn't want to be the special woman that cause a man to settle down?
I always tells myself and others that I am too young and I proved it by acting young and hide myself away.
I afraid to face the truths that I am just a woman, who want to be mature and show forth all that she has.
But most importantly, I don't want to lost the last moment of childhood memories that I has.
I wish I can speak more...
Yet I remain silent and runaway.
Words is not something I'm good at.
How long shall I be before I receive an answer?Labels: Thoughts
Remembering the LORD @ 4:22 PM
Thousands Words of Description
Remembering the LORD @ 3:37 PM
PON
PON is not pon pon.
PON is Parade of Nations.
The long await Parade of Nations is back.
The last time I saw it was during Pastor Ulf meeting I think which was in Year 2004.
Cindy was there last time as the representative of Singapore.
As of now, this year, I was surprised when Eugene called me for it.
He was helping Joyce and they needed people and suppose I heard him said maybe I will represent China and I thought reasonable since I got a China Doll look but then when I was there and I saw the girl costume for China, I felt like fainting. I surely can't wear it, too tight.
So I prayed to God to give me a nice one and I even prayed about the Nation and lo and behold, I got the nation I wanted.
The costume is a bit torn inside and I wondered what kind of costume they gonna change for me. But anyway, I glad to be there and maybe it's time for me to "torture" someone cause my partner is someone who disturbed me during Carrisa's 21st birthday Chalet. That guy sung the whole night away and now, he trying to disturb me and I used the chance to shoot him back.
But nonetheless, I happy to be part of it.
No longer an audience but a participant.
SOT POM also need people but too bad, in the end, I joined PON and Pranee too, and her head gear is wow!
Well, there's more to come for Asia Conference.
Let glory be unto Lord Jesus! =DLabels: PON
Remembering the LORD @ 10:20 AM
Confusion?
Confusion...
Human always faces with confusion everywhere and with one another.
How would it be if this world is without confusion?
Unknowingly, we sank into confusion when we don't want to and our heart goes through a turmoil.
God, calm the heart of confusion and set the course.
You are in control, You are our Lord.Labels: Emotion
Remembering the LORD @ 11:06 AM
My Strength O Lord
You are my strength, O Lord.
The One who pulls me up when I am down.
The One who carries me when I fall down.
The One who supports me when no one did.
You are the One, O Lord.
Who is the JOY of my strength.Labels: Joy
Remembering the LORD @ 8:36 AM
Love Dovey
Thursday, November 6, 2008
I never know how much I love sushi until I fall in love with it.
First Japan, 2nd Sakura, 3rd Sushi and Ramen.
I really love Japan.
Japanese girls and guys so kawaii, anime so nice and is one of my favorite creation of God.
Last sat while at Starhub, I saw this pair of girls walked from toward the bus stop, oh man, the dressing so Gothic, and those was the kind of dress that is so kawaii, though I can say when Jap girls wear them, they are even more kawaii.
My blog song is from a Japanese Girl who album is called "Get Happy."
God did created many things for Jesus to enjoy and we as His creation has a benefit to enjoy.
And who says must be worship songs for you to feel happy.
This song definitely make me happy.
Just like a friend can fall in love with someone imaginary when he listened to High School Musical songs, I fall in love with God with this song and man, my latest friend Seet Hao kept on saying I got a face that said, "I got a boyfriend."
Hahaha I laughed it off, not only he thought so, a few others thought so.
But maybe that invisible boyfriend they saw is my beloved Abba Father?
Who in the word of God said He is our Bridegroom and definitely, He is mine too. =D
Now for my 2nd round of sushi trip to Suki Sushi, where on earth can we find 1 buck sushi that is 2 pieces on a plate? Well, not even Sakae can compare.Labels: Love
Remembering the LORD @ 5:26 PM
A Time of Refreshing
Yesterday went and had an eating session with old time SOT buddies. Gosh. What happened to smses, how come Pranee only received my old message not the latest one?
In the end, Jason and Joseph witnessed a women's World War 3. =.="
But nonetheless, at Suki Sushi, one plate of sushi only 1 buck. Thanks God I never thought of eating at Sakae, or else, my pocket will has a big hole. Yet I was happy, Jason was happy (Cause I brought my laptop and he could watch his High School Musical DVD), Joseph was happy cause he got to get out of office earlier to spend times with friends.
Feeling refreshed, and since Joseph is going for the PM, I went too... Just like what Jason told me, it is like a SOT flashback though before we reached church, something funny happened with our ex-SOT classmate. Our ex-SOT classmate Q at the wrong bus Q and when he noticed it, he and his friend went away, forgetting to tell Joseph and I, thanks God we looked to see what he was up to. Make us missed a bus.
But nonetheless, PM is good while it last.
I missed the last 15 minutes due to work yet I still enjoyed the refreshing moments. It helps and it brought back good memories.
Well, now is a time of refreshing. I need to start to practice the habit of sleeping early.Labels: Refresh
Remembering the LORD @ 9:10 AM
Just for today...
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Just for today and maybe the whole week, I need some solitary times...
Not just receiving a reply to a sms about an update.
But I really need someone to talk to?
And if got no one?
Well, I got to go back to God...
Since human can only go so much...
And there are still things that human can't do...
Remembering the LORD @ 4:41 PM
Poor Hubby
My poor hubby, yesterday went through a thorough surgery at Acer Service Center for suspected driver failures and a USB port to be repaired.
Ended up, the nice, beautiful designed mouse is the culpit. My laptop is perfectly fine but the mouse, as the Popular Bookstore had claimed to be working perfectly fine, is the real culpit. Can't use it at all, and only used it once after the Popular "checked" and "claimed" that it is alright. Now... I really never ever go Popular buy mouse anymore.
My new travelpac mouse is a red crystal mouse... Nice designing, just the way I loved it.
The moment I saw it, I was like... WOW! A perfect accessory for my dear "hubby".
Hubby dear, now you has completed the surgery and lost your memory in the process, now I gonna make you up with all the original programs.Labels: Laptop
Remembering the LORD @ 1:06 PM
5 things anyone will never ever see me do,,,
In my entire life, no one will ever see me initiate to do any of these following things and I discovered, after years in church, these are still the things that I never will do cause that is me, do for someone maybe, but not out of my own will definitely.
1. You will never found me in a crowded place
Hate walking on the crowded road in Bugis street, hate going to town area at night. Got lost in City Hall once when all I ever want is to go to Davis Music and the minute I stepped out of the MRT, with the sky getting dark, I lost my way after I cross a road and out of night phobia, I quickly ran back to the MRT feeling terrible. =X
2. You will never found me attending party.
Unless my clique is attending it or the person is someone that I respected, and my clique will be following one another, I will try not to attend any party. Like Carrisa's birthday plus Chalet, I enjoyed myself, playing UNO with Mark, Oliver, Basil and Carrisa's brother who I forgotten the name and enjoyed my high while playing UNO and till today! I can't believe Basil won me for the last few rounds of UNO, to think I seldom lost the game and Vincent... I remembered someone said he always wanted to sleep and playing game will awake him but to think, Rickson and him had a little escaped to go and spent sometime having guitar lesson. Never mind, the "Hello Kitty" UNO card that you brought is still with Carrisa, will always asks her to bring it out, in case, just in case, Mark or anyone of you are going out with us and we can has a showdown.
3. You will never see me hold a part/chalet myself.
Always hate planning and never has the habit to celebrate my birthday. Now because Miss Carrisa volunteer herself to be my birthday coordinator plus I enjoyed the chalet's craziness night with the NYP cluster, I decided maybe I should hold one, if not I booking you guys for a eating trip to buffet with the brothers as my eating machine so that I won't waste the money. Muhahaha...
4. You will never see me initiate talk when I first enters a new environment or knowing some new friends that is outside of my spiritual family.
One things through time I learn is to observe every environment and people before you decided what is your next step. Remember I first came to CG, first came to zsone meeting, first came to NYP POS during year 1 and rejoined them in year 3 and so on so forth, my NYP clique will always said, never judge a book by its cover if you ever ask them about me. The first time I joined them, I never talked beside introduced myself, when I rejoined them, I only started to talk after that prayer meeting at Trudy's house, and also I really talked and talked the whole 3 hours is during NYP camp when I finally knew some people. From then on, my lame queen crown was secured. 3 hours of lame jokes. Oh man, I never did it for anybody except my cluster and also during my time in N266.
5. You will never see me being so girl except when I see insects!
Oh man, today Halloween party, someone put fake cockroaches at the 2 holders of the drink container. I nearly jumped when I saw it and looking closer, it was frake ones! Fake ones! When did Halloween involved cockroaches??? If someone ever played this type of prank on me, I gonna make sure I not only scream but also... Nah, I shouldn't go there any further. Still remembered CG fellowship on friday when we went to Zhong Ping's father's shop to eat dinner and gosh, so many cockroaches. I saw a cockroach and pushed Elijah aside and asked him to go away cause the cockroach will come my way anytime. =.=
5 is the number of grace and may grace be upon me... Hahaha tomorrow suppose to go for job interview after I end off my work at 1.30pm.
And I can send my laptop for minor surgery and also go for meeting at Yan Sin's place. Plus everyday morning conference.
God has mercy on my physical body.Labels: Never ever
Remembering the LORD @ 9:53 PM
A New Beginning
Finally I pledged the amount that God has been placing in my heart...
Like a true beginning into a new phrase of life.
I really feel so touched and happy.
I has been waiting for it for like a month and when it is the time, I boldly shared with Pearly and my determination to give just heightened up...
God, whether this is my best of not, for now I can't tell, everything seem unsure...
No perm job yet, no fix income, but I know one thing, You are always faithful to me.
You never failed in Your promises...
And truly, I really sensed that this month onward is a brand new journey for me.
Yes, I might not entered into the mission field and full-time after SOT, I might not studying theology degree right now or even my favorite counseling degree, but I give myself 3 years.
3 years to reach the starting line of my dreams and visions.
It is really a new beginning for sure as I has my God with me. =DLabels: New Beginning
Remembering the LORD @ 12:56 AM
