Growing up and still growing
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Sometimes, I feel that I am very childish.
What others do upon me, I will do it back upon them.
People showed me attitude, I will show a face.
Yes, my heart is hurt.
Being mistreated by colleague who I used to joke with just because I can always finished my work on time and she? Busy work and taking her time to work and until someone shared about she being jealous of me and always backstabbed me, I start to feel a sense of dislike and hatred for her.
I kept it inside of me but recently, after I finished my work and rushed for CG, someone called me over the weekend and told me the things she said behind my back and the next day, came back to work to find that she showed attitude toward me.
Am I hurt? Yes.
I remembered asking her whether she is okay with her work before I needed to leave and this will surprised many, she knew every friday I won't be able to work extra hours and recently, I am assigned to handle foreign trades while she is still doing local trades. I taking my time with my work, while she needed to handle hers. I can handle mine pretty well even with extreme high volume, why can't she?
And it voice down to politic. People told me the cruelty of politics, I saw it, experienced it when I was in other working environment but this one... Being backstabbed many time without realizing it and every time I wonder, why this happened and slowly the mysteries opened up.
The root cause is just beside me. You might think I am trying to blame it on hers but I witnessed others who suffered. One even want to quit...
You might be thinking, what does it got to do with my topic... Growing up and still growing...
Well, today I made a decision to move on from here. Even if it happened again, I will brush it aside for now. And keep praying for God's strength. I can't do this alone, I need a bigger capacity with Jesus and may Jesus be the strength of my heart!
Let me grow up and keep growing...Labels: Thoughts
Remembering the LORD @ 8:37 PM
A Time Like This
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
It is at a time like this, that you know the real me.
I wasn't the most happiest person on earth.
My life was once filled with hurts and pains and lack of physical hugs from my parents.
Growing up, learning to be independent.
I found that, I wasn't what I thought I was.
I wasn't that independent after all.
Talking to Mark, Joseph, Tong Yan, Leslie for a catch up on phone and meet up is always what that make me think.
I do enjoy the random phone calls they made despite the fact that I claimed I has nothing to say on phone and... I wasn't the most fun person to talk to.
Mark always need to think of topic to get me to continue to talk.
And I will just be in my deep thoughts.
But here I am, truly rethink, how I really am?
It is at a time like this, I rethink again.Labels: Thoughts
Remembering the LORD @ 9:22 AM
A penny for a thought
Friday, December 19, 2008
Coming close to my 21st birthday, there are few crazy things I wanna do and have:
1. Camping for my birthday
Carrisa and Mark are doing their best to make it one of the wildest and crazy camp as I required. Guess, I'm the first of all to request it.
2. To travel to the unknown
Now still impossible for I still didn't have a free air ticket to countries that I never go before.
3. To receive a new business phone
Man, now is recession, unless someone really get call to buy one for me. Blame it on Mr Elijah for showing me his first white business phone E71. Man, it is by far the nicer phone I saw in the market out there that Blueberry, nope... strawberry, nope... Eh BLACKBERRY that fight with!
4. To eat till dead drop
I never eat a lot yet for my birthday, all I planned is... eat and eat and eat... Man, I gained weight and when Pastor Kong mentioned... "pray for your neighbour for their unfulfill resolution." First thing I told my partner... "Pray that I lost weight!" =.=" Man, I need to be of a healthy proportion. Now I dumped all my beloved subway for fried food again. Guilty... guilty...
5. New guitar
I want to stop running from my guitar. After sending my 2nd hubby, Mr Guitar, away... I has been missing my dear Takamine. Man, I starting to has plan for a new hubby. How flirt my heart become... Now, it is time for guitar lesson... And man, I stopped running away and look at guitar teachers with a disgusting look like the time I stopped learning guitar. Any kind soul want to give away guitar, please find me, Ms Evangelist... OOP, Ms Evangeline... Hahaha
More to add on?
When it is time to add on, then maybe...Labels: Thoughts
Remembering the LORD @ 1:55 AM
Pondering Thoughts
Monday, November 10, 2008
Only my beloved brother can speak wisdom to me in that area beside God and a few others.
Advices that make me ponder nights and yet doesn't make me feel pressurizing.
Has been chatting with him, my brother from SOT last night.
Always been an adviser to me.
Sometimes people don't understand why I share so much with him, but since the SOT days, he has been taking of me like a sister, just like Vok from the "marketplace", and it caused me to be open just like a sister.
He mentioned something that even right now I am still thinking.
Am I making that promise because I'm plainly stubborn, or it is because I want to prove that I can do it just like others who has run before me.
People questioned about my decision to go with the promise but only one person encourage me to go.
God never speak anything and I go with it because the one who asked me to is someone I really treasure but now the question being raise up and how much longer am I going to avoided it?
Who doesn't want to be take care by someone?
Who doesn't want to feel love?
Who doesn't want to feel security?
Who doesn't want to be lead?
And who doesn't want to be the special woman that cause a man to settle down?
I always tells myself and others that I am too young and I proved it by acting young and hide myself away.
I afraid to face the truths that I am just a woman, who want to be mature and show forth all that she has.
But most importantly, I don't want to lost the last moment of childhood memories that I has.
I wish I can speak more...
Yet I remain silent and runaway.
Words is not something I'm good at.
How long shall I be before I receive an answer?Labels: Thoughts
Remembering the LORD @ 4:22 PM
A Penny for My Thoughts
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
I wonder...
How has we every really thought about our life?
Someone once asked me, even in church, if you never found a best friend, will you still serve God?
When I got saved, one of the decision I has to make is, even when no friends accept Jesus, even when friends let go of Jesus, can I really live without Him?
Tears that I never shed for others, I shed for Jesus.
Tears that I never know it existed, it came as I looked upon Jesus and shared my problems.
Jesus, take away all pains, even when my friend argued me for placing church and fellow siblings-in-Christ in a higher place, I still will say, it better to lose a friend, then to lose those precious moments of renewing of my strength in a godly fellowship.
I will move on and I shall move on from here.
A beginning for real...Labels: Thoughts
Remembering the LORD @ 5:04 PM
